Hoshigaru
by Jiffie
Summary: Dib seem to have grown since the last time Zim saw him. Not liking how everyone is getting taller, Zim decide to put aside his mission so he can find a way to catch the humans in their game of growth. unique romance in later chapters.full summery inside.
1. Zim plus internet equal doom

**Hoshigaru**

**Author Note: **Hi everyone, this is _basically_ (for lack of better words) my first ever fanfic and its _Invader Zim_ as you can apparently see. If there's anything in here you witnessed in another Invader Zim fanfic, tell me because I might have gotten it from that story, and I would give it full credit. I am not plagiarizing anyone but the fanfics I read has inspired me to make this one, so if you seen something already down, give me the fics name and if I read it then its plausible that, that's where I got it from, if I don't recognized the name or the fic in general, then its all just coincidental.

_For the four people who read the lost script one, thanks your words was and still is encouraging and helpful, but I suddenly had a change in how I wanted this story to be, it will still have the same idea and plot but I'm going to portray it different. I hope it's still auspicious to you all and anyone else who reads it. (Oh and thanks_ **_Maria Sparrow_** _I'll try to see if I can get someone to beta it for me)_

**Warning: **To tell you right now if you abhor Ocs then this is not for you, if you abhor Zim but adore Dib more, this is not for you, if you abhor Dib and Tak pairing, this is not for you, if you have no knowledge in ANYTHING of _Invader Zim_ and don't want me to spoil it for you, THIS IS **_NOT_** FOR YOU. If any of those thing apply to you please turn back now, you have been warned.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own invader Zim, Its not mine, nope, nuh'uh, this crazy cartoon came out of Jhonen Vasquez crazy head, but the story is from my sick little mind.

**Summery: **This is Zim's second year here on earth and will soon be the first day of 7th grade. Every one is changing around him, Dib seem to have grown 6 inches since the last time Zim saw him, He even have to look up at him when ever they have one of they're verbal fight. Dib's little sister Gaz have even manage to grow "slightly" taller then him. Not liking how everyone is getting taller while he's still his tiny size, Zim decide to, dare I say, put his mission aside so he can find a way to catch up or maybe even pass the humans in their game of growth.

_First and last time this will be here_

**Time Zone:** Dib is 12, Gaz is 11, and Zim is how ever old he is, Tak... same goes for her and Skoodge.

**Grade:** Dib and Zim are in 7th grade Gaz and Skoodge is in 6th.

**Height:** Dib is 4'11, Gaz is 4'7, Tak is 4'11, Skoodge is 4'8, and Zim is 4'5.

* * *

**Chapter one:** Zim + internet... A Doomed day.

_**Note:** Chapter is Zim heavy. Pervertedness assure…_

**Chapter one summery:** Zim realize one day in summer break that, unfortunately, Dib has gotten taller--not by that much! But he has. It is summer after all; an Earth holiday, so Zim decides that he would 'take a break' from his destroy and conquer Earth mission, to work on a 'cure' for his… _shortness_. It wouldn't hurt him anyways…

**Zim's "home" ****4:00 am**

Deep down in Zim's base, Zim was working on another experiment. '_Was'_ plays a key part in it, seeing as GIR had just blacked out the upper level of the base--The Lab, were Zim is currently working.

"GIR!" Zim yelled, cerise eyes glared in the darkness.

"**I did'n do it!**" GIR shouted, giggling uncontrollably.

If Zim's acute hearing was correct--and it was, then Zim could hear that GIR was thirty-two ft. back and twenty ft. to the right, directly under the red Emergency Black-Out button… for hacking purposes. Zim growled and stormed over to where GIR was, he didn't need the light--His **SUPERiOR** irken eyes gave off a small reflection of light for him to absorb, not enough for a human to see anything but enough for an irken… plus the button cuts off _all_ power, which put an erupt stop in his work.

Once Zim made it over to GIR and the red button, he pushed the green one that soon and did rejuvenate his lab-- not very smart to have the two next to each other, but eh, what you gonna do. GIR looked up to see Zim glowering down at him, noticing the sudden jolt of life in the lab; GIR stopped giggling and gave a solemn awe.

"GIR! Stop pushing buttons your _insignificant_ mind can't and won't comprehend!" Zim scolded.

"Wha but'n??" GIR said clueless.

Zim growled "_That_ button GIR" Zim said pointing to the red one; he wanted GIR to know what he did was bad.

"Wha but'n?" GIR asked, looking the other way. Zim gave out a frustrated cry and pulled GIR's head in the direction of the button.

"**_That_**_ button GIR_!!" Zim yelled, you'd think he'd be used to GIR's idiotic ways but today was when Zim finally realized… _admitted_ that he was indeed… _short_… just a little-- and was not in a very good mood.

"_Oooh-ho-ho-ho_ yous means _dat_ but'n" As GIR said button, he had pushed it.

The lab gave a loud warp noise and went black; the only light were the cyan eyes of GIR, the cerise eyes of Zim and the red and green buttons-- the green one Zim slammed his fist on.

"GIR!" The lab flickered on.

"I did'n do it!" GIR shouted. Zim snarled.

Zim was back to working on his research, GIR was now chained and hanging upside down in one of Zim's test-tubes. Zim linked his computer to an irken satellite--If he was going to look up something, it was going to come from his home planet.

"Computer! Look up ways of growth!" Zim shouted.

"Um… '_Ways of growth'_?" the computer asked, hinting to what he said was an incomplete, and asinine, sentence.

"Do you _question_ Zim?!" Zim scowled at his computers hesitance.

The computer sighed "This is stupid…" it muttered and typed in irk 'ways of growth'.

Millions of links popped up and Zim smiled mockingly at his computer. He clicked on the first file that bore the title of 'I was once scrawny, no-…' it was too long to fit the rest. Zim saw a picture of a very short irken; he was so thin it made him look even smaller. Zim smirked, if this pathetic excuse for an irken got taller with his method, surly Zim would be a giant! He read his height, damn! 4'6… His smirked faltered but came back, Zim wasn't that short… _yeah_… Zim skipped the irken's life story and read what he did to fix his height, as he read his smirk began to slide off.

_First I ate fifty chilly-dogs, then twelve _chocolate_ ice-cream, twenty cream filled donuts, thirty jelly filled one, and eighty-_two_ glazed(that's important) a day, while laying on my back for twenty-three hours…_

And it carried on, Zim's left eye twitched, what the hell was this? How would that help his growth! All this would do would get him… Zim saw the after picture of the irken… he… was… HUMONG-E-OUS, 500 lbs. and still his little 4'6 self.

"What! I don't want to be fat! I want to be tall!" Zim shouted and commanded the computer to go back to the other links.

Every link was just things to gain weight; _I eat so many such-and-such_ or _I didn't move for so many blah-blah _or even _I ate so many such-and-such and didn't move for so many Blah and blah, blah, blah._ Zim growled, when he said growth he meant in length not in width… This wasn't going to work; he needed to be more specific.

"Computer, search for 'how do I make myself taller'" Zim said.

The computer sighed but ran the search anyways, millions of links popped up. Zim smiled, this surly would not go wrong. Zim was going to click on one when a purple screen with the irken insignia popped up, red words that read 'Forbidden' in irk blinked. Zim stared dumbfounded, he commanded the computer to go back and type in the words again. The computer did just that and the same thing happened--this time Zim was quick enough to see the date on one; it was made over a_ trillion _years ago, literally.

"What is the meaning of this?! _Explain_ _to_ _Zim_" Zim shouted.

"Case # **15000007345-AFBDN.01** created by irken Triname; illegal experiments banned" The computer told, answering Zim's question.

"'_Triname_'?" Zim question, where have he heard that name before,

"Irken Triname, first tallest irken at 5'6. Admired by his height, people respect him more then other irkens, given him a stat of royalty--thus creating Voltaskugurtch _(V-oat-ash-koo-gir-ch_" Zim's eyes perked up, that was the royal army before the Armada _and_ the tallest.

Zim didn't care for history, so he deleted most of the 'unimportant' things that happened before his time. But Lord Triname was a hero to Zim, the way he ruled, the way he commanded, the way people worshiped him! Zim just couldn't cut that out, though some didn't think he was that great so Zim had to search for the information, it was not downloaded at hatched.

"Irken lord Triname ruled over viciously--being the first irken to be loved by _all_; it quickly corrupted him. He done things regardless of what the consequences were; he was full of covet. A graqus later an Irken was founded for being 5'7, Triname was quickly pushed over and forgotten." A graqus is a universal year, that's pretty quick for an irken leader to be over powered.

"Courtons (universal month; earth years) later Poe-- The newest Irken lord was over powered by Jar who was 5'8. Later he too was overthrown by Xem. Irkens were growing abnormally too fast, using experiments to improve their height--Xem being one of them. Fear of being over powered, Xem enslaved and forced Triname to come up with laws to stop any of the experiment-- even the ones Xem used.

Triname quickly put a stopped to the experiments and banned them from Irk; doing so, Xem made Triname a duke-- the first Tallest" Zim gasped-- not from the shock that he quietly listen to all of that, but because Triname was made the first Tallest but was under Xem.

It didn't make sense; Tallest _were_ lords, so how was Xem higher, and why was Triname shorter? Zim didn't have all the information on Triname and the Tallest history didn't go back that far, they forgot maybe?

"Computer, why was the Tallest at such a low status?" Zim asked once he guessed the computer was done.

"Forbidden information # **53000004837-BEFDT.35** created by Almighty Tallest Miyuki; private history" The computer said, Zim remember her, he didn't really know any other Tallest before her, though that didn't mean there weren't any. Zim growled, why where things so secretive! Oh how he hated secrets, especially when he didn't know them.

"Why don't you search out of Irk?" GIR asked, coming over with a broken off spark wire. Zim was a little worried to ask how he got out and where he pulled that from.

"_Because_ GIR" He said with a sigh, like GIR was stupid for asking--which he was.

"Non Irken's are too different, what ever they used to grow taller could _kill_ me" Zim finished, snatching the sparking wire from him, GIR still looked confused.

Zim sighed "Computer! Look up all species that are similar to Irkens-- Which there won't be, seeing as we're so elite" Zim said with a smug smile.

"Searching… Found!" Zim blinked, shocked.

"Gribs

Torchs

Myairs

Tiylons

Vaxtens

Paylonions…"

The list went on. Zim laughed nervously and looked down at GIR who just gave a goofy smile back.

Zim cleared his throat "Heh… I meant look up all species that are _very_ similar to Irkens" Zim gave a small smirk.

"Searching… Searching… Searching..." Zim smirked grew wider, ha!

"Found!" The computer shouted. Zim's smirk fell completely.

"Orkens

Recknans

Vertians

Humans

Glors

Buletons-"

"-Stop!" Zim shouted, what was this?!

"H-h_uuuuuu_mans?!" This _couldn't_ be right! Zim angrily commanded the computer to check and see if it was a glitch.

"Humans 50 percent Irken trait" The computer 'concocted'. Zim was infuriated; did the computer expect Zim to believe that the _humans_ have half of the genes of an Irken?

"Computer, explain this foolishness!" Zim demanded.

"Humans trait of Irkens-

Eye organs

Heart

Blood (blue and red in color, less to no minerals)

Sperm (males)

Brain

Tooth enamel (have Dentin, slightly weaker)

Uvula

Tongue papillae (Humans squared, Irken's spiked)

Bone structure (extras, less flexible)

Pores (bigger then Irken's)

Eggs (females)

Sensitivity to heat

Sensitivity to cold

Oxygen

Reproductive organ P-"

"-Enough! Just show me the others!" Zim shouted, he refused to believe the humans had _ANY_ similarity to him, let alone irkens.

"Orkens- maximum height: two inches;" Zim smiled "Procedure, eating a warquert while jumping moons" Zim blinked, where the hell would he get a warquert?

Zim growled "Show me ingredients that I'm _capable_ of getting!"

The computer sighed "There _are_ no ingredients other then human methods" The computer said with humor lacing its words.

"There have to be _something_ other then _that_!" Zim half whined.

"You could… Heh… Smash a lead sphere into your parietal lobe, if the right pressure applied; it could collapse onto a nerve, jolting extreme height… plus, heh, severe deliria and blindness…" Zim stared shock.

"Who would _do_ that?!" Zim questioned.

"…Glors…" The computer answered.

"_Or_… you could dangle from a support line while a black hole stretch you to your ideal height" Zim looked at the screen like it was crazy.

"… Recknans…" The computer finished, reading Zim's mind. Zim sighed and looked down; he couldn't believe he was going to do this. GIR looked up at him and gave a goofy smile.

"Hi-_eeeee_" Zim snarled at him, god he hate his face.

Zim looked back at the screen "Computer!"

"… _What_" It asked, jeez, did Zim really need it to answer, its not like the computer was going anywhere… unfortunately.

"Show me…_ Errrr_… Methods from the _uuugh_… _Huuuuumaaans_"

"Um… _O…kay_?" the computer pulled up tons of links to methods for height. The first one Zim clicked on.

_I drunk tons of milk when I was a child, the doctors said I wouldn't grow taller that way, I guess I fooled them._

Zim blinked, the boy was twelve and was his height, but now is at 6'1. Impossible! Here Zim was, looking at deadly methods from these other races while this… _inferior_ race was simply drinking infant juice… That was why they were so tall! This had to be, most races including the Irkens long developed past breast milk, now with their special minerals injected through development--plus Irkens didn't _need_ to eat.

Zim smirked, this was too easy. "GIR!"

"Yes" GIR Responded, Zim was shocked that he actually stayed right there next to him through all that… well, until he saw buttons missing from his massive keyboard.

"Just get in the ship GIR" Zim said exasperated.

Zim walked to a black dome pushing a button next to it; the dome opened and revealed a hole where his ship levitated out of. A generating noise was heard and two lights parallel of each other shone on one side of the wall; the wall open up to reveal the elevator. Hard, fast footsteps and heavy breathing was heard.

"Wha!" _Thump!_ Zim looked up to see a round blur roll in front of him. Zim raised a supraorbital ridge.

"Skoodge??" Zim question, Skoodge stood up and saluted.

"Master Zim, sir!" Even though a year has past, Zim still contemplated whether to keep Skoodge here or shoot him out in space, for that Skoodge respected Zim for keeping him this long… Plus Zim liked when he did that, and Skoodge was going to milk every drop of mercy Zim gave him.

"…_What are you doing down here_?" Zim asked. Skoodge was still saluting.

"I would like to accompany you on this mission, sir!" Zim looked at him like he was crazy, how did he know he was leaving?

Zim paused, realizing that his eyes rolled up slightly to look at Skoodge directly in the eyes… Was Skoodge… _taller_ then him?! Zim growled menacingly at him, Skoodge backed up and fiddled with his fingers, why was Zim looking at him like that?

"You can't come _Skoodge_…" Zim sized him up and glared, he then tooted his 'nose' in the air.

"We need someone to watch the base" Zim finished, he would have let him tag along, but Zim didn't like Skoodge right now… for some reason.

"But MiniMoose could watch it" Skoodge commented with a small smile. Zim looked at him disgusted-- he always had an excuse for something, Skoodge flinched a little.

"Well…" damn… "Someone needs to… uh… watch MiniMoose!" Skoodge looked confused.

"Skoodge!" Zim shouted. Skoodge jumped.

"I… uh, watching MiniMoose… is a _very important mission_" Lie! MiniMoose was capable of watching himself, Zim would know, he made him.

"But GIR is too _stupid_ to let take on that mission" Skoodge perked up a little, _important_ mission?

"The only one dum-… _Worthy_ enough to do the job… is you" Zim finished, dramatically. Skoodge eyes widen, he gave a big smile.

"Thanks Master Zim, sir!" Skoodge saluted. Zim chuckled a little, just like when they were smeets-- poor naïve idiot. Zim climbed in the ship with a wiggling GIR.

"Skoodge, only you can keep this base safe" Zim had a serious look on.

Skoodge didn't know it was fake-- Zim's lawn was full of defenses that there was a one-ten chance of anyone coming in to even get to the other traps he set, plus there was MiniMoose. Skoodge saluted and Zim gave him a nod of recognition, the clear irken plastic closed. A hole opened in the ceiling-- most likely leading to the house part of the base and to the roof where outside lay. Skoodge glanced at the computer to see the boy and his milk story; Skoodge looked amazed.

"WOW, computer look! That guy has been drinking milk since he was twelve. Now, nine years later he's a whopping 6'2...! I don't see why the milk part was important though" Oh, but the computer did, and boy did it find amusement out of that.

* * *

A left and a right, Zim dedicatedly flew across the sky. They were high in the clouds, moving fast enough to not be seen but slow enough to see. Inside Zim was determinedly staring out the shield. GIR sat on the small part of the seat that was beside him.

"So" GIR said.

"So?" Zim copied, hinting for him to continue.

"_So_" GIR said once again.

"_So_?" Zim dragged on in the same manner, a little more forced then GIR's, Zim was a bit irritated.

"_Sooo-_""-So _what_ **GIR**?!" This little game of 'so's' was interfering with his flying.

"Where we gonna get this milk?" GIR asked.

"_I don't know _GIR? Where _does_ milk come from?" Zim pretended to ask.

"Um… Mommies?" GIR replied.

"That's right GIR" Zim said in a patronizing tone, GIR squealed with joy.

"But what _kinds_ of mommies?" GIR question, the ship gave an erupt halt.

Good question, Zim knows milk comes from females… well from all the species he saw that provided it, but _which_ species of females; Zim did not read the boy's full story, just the 'milk' and 'taller' part. Maybe he meant milk from his parental unit, if so then he just needed a female parent… What if he needed the _boy_'s female parent? Zim shook his head, all the humans are all the same, his female milk would be no different form the others. Zim smiled, yeah.

Zim's ship landed in a forest that was surprisingly… next to a super mall. Zim put in his contacts and fixed his wig-- which was now updated to slick spikes; a child called him Elvis once, and when Zim found out who that was, he quickly manufactured a new wig, lets say he saw the fat version… and leave it at that.

"Ok, listen closely GIR" Zim said, adjusting GIR's dog suit.

"This is the prime place for human females; _they're everywhere_" GIR stared.

"_Females_ GIR…" Zim hinted. GIR cocked his head to the side, not understanding.

"GIR, Females like small squishy dogs… _You_ are a _small squishy dog_ GIR" Zim said slowly, trying to get to him.

"So… Girlies like meh?" GIR mused.

"Yes GIR" Zim smiled a little, he actually got through to him. GIR grinned and hugged himself.

"NO! GIR, that's not a good thing. In a place like that, we need to _not_ be notice. If a _filthy_ human female come to touch you, BITE, oh will you viciously bite them! Then they'd be scared and cry" Zim said with a weird sadistic glint in his eyes. GIR looked shocked and frowned.

"But… I like-ed to get pet" GIR said solemnly. Zim shook his head and attached a black leash to his collar.

Zim walked GIR to the entrance of the mall, he pause. Zim held his breath and threw open the doors, he then did a dramatic roll to enter-- GIR walked in, squeaking the whole way. Once Zim saw the 'danger' was gone, he stood and dusted himself off. He then gave a sigh and whipped his forehead.

"Step one… COMPLE-""-**Squee**" Zim's eyes widen as he snapped his head to the direction where the _putrid_ sound came from. A little girl with bouncy, curly brown hair and a yellow fluffy dress was '**_attacking_**' GIR!

"Tehe, Doggy!" The little girl squealed as she hugged GIR.

"GIR! Attack! Bite, **Bite**!!" Zim shouted franticly from the side line. GIR was purring like some cat as the girl scratched his belly.

"No, no sweetie. That's the young boy's dog" A woman resembling the girl, minus the yellow dress, gently grabbed the girls hand and began to walk off; the girl whined.

"Come on GIR" GIR whined, Zim tutted at GIR's behavior.

"But master, that was a girlie…" GIR said with a remorseful face.

"That's just a horrid human smeet GIR, they're not developed enough to produce milk" Zim was appalled that GIR would lie just to get that squealing monster to come back.

"But, what s'bout ta mommy" GIR question, Zim stopped, GIR was right… _GIR_ was right.

"Your right GIR! That was a female parental unit!" Zim turned and ran back to the woman and her child.

"Female!" The woman and the child turned around to face them; the girl squealed and hugged GIR while the woman stared questionably at Zim.

"_You_! Submit over your milk to Zim!" Zim shouted, pointing at her. The woman glared.

"What the hell?!" She reached into her buggy and snatched up a carton of milk; clutching it protectively.

"I've encountered…! Green… little boys like you, _with your loud music_" Zim looked dumbfounded and then glared.

"'Moo-sick'?! What does this have to do with a disease, infected earth mammal?!" Zim shouted.

"This is the last milk that was on sell today, I will not give this up!" The lady shouted back and clutched the carton tighter.

"Zim does not care about what milk was on '_seal_'! Just gem'me your milk lady!" Zim yelled and lunged at her; the woman swung her purse around and slapped Zim with it. Zim flew back and skid on the tile floor, it felt like she held bricks in that thing--which she probably did. The woman snatched her child from GIR-- not with out flicking him on the nose, and stormed off.

"O-… okay, plan t-tow failed" Zim said rubbing the dark green blood from his 'nose'.

"Maybe you should ask more nicely" GIR commented.

Zim heard giggling and looked up; he saw some girls that were not children, but weren't fully grown-- the humans called them 'T_eeee_ns'. Zim looked up "_Clair's_" was what the store read. Zim smirked.

"GIR, to the 'Clair's'!" Zim pointed.

The girls came out patting GIR's head and feeding him their chips; one gave him a hug and a kiss. Zim staggered out with scratches on his face and a black eye, he was holding his gut. He lifted his wrist and a hologram popped up.

"Okay… Asking to 'borrow their breast' was a not so good plan" Zim scratched off 'asked to borrow their breast'.

"_Oh girl_, I told him if he wanted to come back in, then he better come back with a job…" Zim heard to the left of him; there he spotted two women, giggling and chatting.

"To the 'Larry's wieners'!" Zim shouted.

For three hours Zim ran through the mall harassing women, he harassed thirteen to eighty year olds--who in turn gave him a penny and told him to buy a 'gumball', which GIR gladly accepted from Zim. Zim stopped to spray some kind of substance from his wrist to his swollen eye-- he was now able to open it again. Zim started to see drawings that were supposed to look like him on a few poles as he jogged through the mall. He saw GIR chewing furiously as he rips a piece of paper from a support beam; GIR was going to spit out gum on the paper, Zim didn't care until he saw a picture of himself on it.

Zim snatched the paper just as GIR spit it out; the gum fell on the floor. GIR squealed happily and picked the gum up off the floor and popped it back in his mouth, Zim cringed.

"What, what, what?! Me! A thief and a…!" Zim looked closer at the paper and squinted.

"'Peeeeevuuurt'… Pevurt!? What is this 'pevurt' and how dare they deem Zim as one of them!" Zim growled and shredded the paper.

"Gah! Now how am I to retrieve this milk?!" Zim shouted to the sky.

He looked at his wrist and the hologram popped out. 102 things where crossed out on the pad, the last one was 'steal'--but how could he if the females saw it fit to wear it on their chest. Zim spotted a mincing looking woman cradling a baby with a bottle full of _milk_! Zim stalked over to her. The woman looked up from her baby to him.

"So you don't like to breastfeed your young?" Zim asked, he wasn't particularly stupid, he knew when humans used 'bottles' they liked to put 'dust' milk in it.

"Oh heaven's no! I think breastfeeding is an excellent way to bond, I just don't want to do it in public so I filled the bottle up with my milk" Zim stared at her.

He didn't know why she was calmly talking to him like this; when ever he mention 'breast' or 'milk' to any of the women here, they would slap him, or hurt him really badly. Maybe she thought he was a curious young boy who wished to know the mechanisms of babies… or maybe it was because she was one of those 'blonds' he'd heard of.

"Um…" Zim cringed "Can I… See _it_?" He asked really fast, pointing to the baby.

"Oh sure!" She put the full bottle of milk down; Zim's factitious eyes followed the bottle until it was placed on the bench.

The women opened her baby's blanket and sat the infant up to face Zim--the baby was adorable; its entire form was small and had cute round cheeks with huge curious eyes shining. _It's_… hair was like curly fries, in shape and color; Zim wanted to puke.

"She's my first baby you know" The woman went on as she pinched the baby's cheeks. Zim ignored her and looked down at the bottle.

"Young man?"

"Huh?" Zim looked up; the woman had a raised eyebrow.

"I said 'do you plan to have a family one day'?" The woman asked.

"Yeah, sure, whatever" Zim replied, not really paying attention--the milk was _right there_.

"Oh! Is this your dog" The woman giggled as GIR tried to look at the baby.

"Oh! Um… _yeah_, I uh… Treat him like my offspring! I had him when he was a pup, raised him ya know" Zim had his eyes closed and his hands on his hips, he peeked one eye open to see the woman smiling at him.

"Yup! Practicing for a real family one day" Zim held back a gag.

"Oh! I used to feed my hamster like he was a baby, when I was a child" She reached down and scratched GIR's 'ear'.

"Good practice you know-" the woman looked over to see Zim gone.

"Oh… Hey your-!" She then looked over to see GIR was gone as well. "-… dog" The baby whined, and then started to wail.

"Oh, don't cry sweetie, mommy got-" The woman looked down beside her.

"Where's my bottle…?"

Ha! Only three hours and Zim have already retrieved the human's growth serum. Zim lifted the bottle and swished the liquid around-- This was actually Zim's first time at seeing milk… Well other than lunch time, but their food was so bad there, he never dared to open anything that was closed; if it was closed, it stayed closed. This was it; Zim lifted the bottle to his mouth… nothing came out.

"What is this?!" Zim shouted.

"Yous s'ppose ta suck on it like a straw!" GIR said making sucking noises, how did he know.

Zim stared at the nipple, ugh, he hope it was sanitary. Zim stuffed the nipple in his mouth and sucked, but only droplets came out. Zim growled and ripped the nipple off with his teeth. Through his anger, he guzzled the milk down with out a second thought… hmm; it was kind of sweet and tasted musky.

"Okay, make Zim grow magic milk!" Zim shouted, some people stopped and stared, a child giggled. GIR smiled.

"Yay you're taller!" GIR squealed running and hugged Zim's waist.

"Hm… Zim feels no taller, but-wait!" Zim ran into a clothing store.

"You!" Zim pointed at one of the workers.

"Do you do measures?" Zim asked. The worker nodded.

"Good! I need a full body measure" Zim demanded. The worker stared at Zim like he was crazy.

"Uh… okay" The man walked over to Zim and measured him.

"Um… 7'6" Zim smiled wide. Yes it worked!

"No, no. I had the measure upside down, silly me" The man turned it right side up.

"Okay! 4'5! Wow your short aren't you" Zim growled. He didn't grow at all! Zim snarled and pushed the man over.

Zim was walking with GIR, fuming over the fact that he drunk something that came out of a _human_ female. GIR looked up at Zim and frown, he patted Zim's arm for comfort.

"Why! Why didn't it work?!" Zim asked no one in particular.

"Maybe you need some animal's milk" GIR tried to help.

"That's it GIR, young usually stop milk feeding after a certain age. Maybe they drink other animal's milk--I mean they eat the animal, why not drink it!" Zim picked GIR up by his 'ear'.

"Thhhhheee pppppeeet, store" GIR read as Zim entered the store.

"You!" Zim pointed at a cheery worker that had puppies tide to his head.

"Me?" He said with a big smile, Zim cringed.

"Zim need breast milk from your…-!" Zim looked around, all that was there were dogs "-…um, dogs?"

"Well look here little boy! This milk is for puppies only, why don't you go ask your mother for some milk from the market" The worker said with a disapproving look.

"What! Zim doesn't need to ask for permission! And what is this '_mark it'_' you speak of?" The guy stared at him; he then went back to 'work' and ignored him.

"Hey! Um… I just… uh, need it for my mMmm… Puppy! GIR" GIR walked over at the sound of his name.

"Awe! Now isn't he cute!" The worker patted GIR.

"Um, he was abandon as a puppy! He needs milk" Zim lied.

"Oh, okay then. Here you go" God the humans were stupid.

"Okay, uh… t-thaaaa… aaa… bye!" Zim held back the bile. He was getting good at hiding his true feelings, but he just couldn't disgrace him self by being… _nice_… to the humans, but he was improving.

"Okay, now this should work" He opened up the containers of milk and drunk them all, a slightly tarter taste then the humans. Zim let a few minutes go by; nothing.

"ARG!!"

* * *

Zim has been flying every where, milking things that shouldn't and never have been milked before. GIR was having a blast playing with the animals Zim found and milked… don't asked how.

"T-…th-t…" Zim rolled over, his belly was huge.

"That… Was the last animal on this putrid planet" Zim didn't know that there were other city; countries even.

"And still. No. Taller!" Zim shouted. His wrist began to beep.

"Zim!" Skoodge said.

"S-Skoodge…" Zim replied.

"Zim! Can you hear me!?" Skoodge called, Zim lifted his wrist to his face.

"Zim! What have you been doing?" Skoodge asked once he saw Zim's milk stained face. Zim just groaned.

"Zim, you didn't have to drink all that milk… It won't do anything" Skoodge said, knowing why they were gone so long.

"W-wha…t milk d-… ugh… did he drink?"

"Zim… That guy's like, twenty, He grew tall naturally" Skoodge said, Zim's eyes widen.

"GIR!!" Zim shout.

"Yes" GIR was lying on Zim's belly, that's why he couldn't move. Zim wobbled up.

"GIR! Get the voot cruiser ready" Zim demanded and wobbled to the ship.

* * *

If the computer could, he would have rolled over laughing. Zim was currently puking up the milk he recently drunk; Skoodge have informed him that other then their parents, the humans drunk cow and sometimes goat milk-- it was… um… unique to drink any other animal's secretion. MiniMoose has also joined to see what the commotion was about.

"Ugh… C-computer… Go to the next link-" Zim finished his barfing and straiten up.

The computer could have rolled his eyes, did Zim not know the humans grew by a gene not methods, and that all of this was myths and wives tells--if he didn't, the computer wasn't going to tell him. The computer knew because, well, it's a computer, it knows these things--but this would teach Zim for making him do… stuff.

"Searching… Found!" The computer went back to the archives of links and clicked on the second one which read 'My big brother stuffed potato's in my pants…' Zim didn't even read the rest, he was too impatient.

"MiniMoose! To the potato store!" Zim pointed in a direction and hopped in the voot cruiser. MiniMoose squeaked and followed.

"Um… Zim-" The ship already rose up and out.

"That guy gots a bulge in his pants! Wha he hide'n" GIR squealed. The guy did indeed have a… bulge in his pants; apparently he wanted growth in… other places.

"-… Maybe you might wanna… uh, keep reading" Skoodge finished. The computer laughed hysterically.

* * *

Zim was lost; he had no idea where a 'potato store' was. Zim flew into the city, that place usually had things there. MiniMoose happily and quietly floated next to Zim's head, he didn't know what was going on, but he kept a content smile on his face. Zim didn't need MiniMoose, he just preferred his company over the others--in fact, if he brought MiniMoose with him on his milk search, he would have obtained it faster; MiniMoose has a way with words.

"Squeak!" MiniMoose… squeaked.

"What's that?" Zim snapped his head to the left.

"Your right MiniMoose, there _is_ a guy selling potatoes" Zim dived onto a skyscraper next to where the guy was selling his potato.

Zim hopped out of the voot cruiser and extracted his robot-spider legs and silently crawled down in-between the buildings--making sure to stay in the shadows. MiniMoose silently floated behind him. Zim jumped and retracted his spider legs back in, falling ten ft from the sky. Zim checked to make sure his wig was on right and ran out from the ally.

"You! Potato herder!" Zim shouted. The guy sat up from his bored position and looked around.

"Hey! Hairy!" The guy kept looking, he couldn't see Zim; maybe it was the mountain of potatoes, or maybe Zim was just short.

"Stinky?" Zim question, maybe that's why he wasn't responding, the guy looked down and stretched over the potatoes to see a little green boy.

"Wha'chu 'wunt kid?" The big hairy burly guy asked.

"I would like a potato… _p-pppplee…pppp…-_" Zim couldn't say it, what reason did he have? He'd never utter that word to these filthy humans, no matter how much he needed to.

"Um… peeled?" The guy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah-I mean no! Look, I just want a potato…! Non-peeled!" Zim shouted, MiniMoose squeaked.

"Five bucks" The man said gruffly.

"What's a 'buck'? You want Zim to strike you? Do you get some sick pleasure form that?!" Zim was a little freaked out; he never met a human who _wanted_ to be hurt.

"Squeak" MiniMoose replied.

"Monies? Zim have no monies! And if I did, Zim wouldn't give it to _you_, filthy pig-stink!" Zim shouted snobbishly.

"Look 'ere kid, I knows the prices are 'high' _oooOOoOoOo_" The man made a mocking prissy gesture.

"But these 'taters are some _big_ 'taters! Plus a guy gotta make a liv'n" The man said with a shrug. Zim stared, those _was_ some big potatoes, that's why Zim had to have them! The bigger, the better right?

"Squeak!" The man looked over to MiniMoose and nodded.

"Ok then, dis stand s'not go'n nee'where" the man said, going back to his lazy stance.

"Where am I supposed to get some monies from MiniMoose?!" Zim asked once they stalked off.

"Squeak" MiniMoose squeaked, like it was obvious.

"Nah I tried that last time with GIR, it went _horrible_!" Zim said with terror in his eyes, flashing back.

"_Squeak_" MiniMoose replied.

"Your right MiniMoose, you're **not** GIR!" Zim got a confident smirk on his face.

* * *

"Clown, clown, clown, clown…" Zim chanted in a creepy way, MiniMoose peeped in rhythm.

Zim was in the park this time, making sure there were no cheese stands. People crowed and would pause to look at them-- Zim had on his ridiculous clown get up; MiniMoose had a matching mini sized rainbow afro and a squeaky clown nose, his was blue while Zim's bore a red one. MiniMoose had a metal bowl in his fro as he floated around and collected pennies; Zim's performance was good, but not that good.

"Yes MiniMoose! It's working!" Zim said to MiniMoose with a vicious smirk on his face; MiniMoose squeaked in agreement.

"Hi-ya mister green clown man!" A little girl asked. She had to of been about six years old. Zim shrieked back in disgust as she giggled and twirled to imaginary music.

"Do you do balloons and stuff?" The little girl asked, her black hair bobbling in her braided pigtails.

Zim was going to tell her off until he saw a scrawny dirty old man staring at him, the man was 'hiding' behind a bench; oh he wasn't going to fool Zim!

"Why yes I _do_ little girl!" Zim said in what he thought was a kind voice, but was actually creepy-- like one of those carnival men that wore the stripped clothes and had a cane.

The little girl faltered some but smiled once she realized he said yes. Zim blinked as he notice the girl still there, staring with her big hazel eyes. The girl blinked and stared back at him, she then giggled.

"Te well aren't 'cha gonna make something, mister green clown man?" The little girl asked nervously as she twirled her fingers.

Zim snarled, first she ask if he could _now_ she want him to; god, humans are so selfish. Zim opened his mouth to tell her to remove her filth from his eyesight but then notice that the same homeless looking guy was still eyeballing him.

"Heh, _well of course I will_, you cute little adorably sweet innocent worm child" Zim chuckled as he nervously patted the girls head.

Okay, now what's this 'balloons and stuff' this little girl spoke of? Zim requested for the little girl to excuse him and turned so his back faced here. He gave a frustrated cry as he saw MiniMoose performing for a group of people; they all cheered and threw him some pennies. Now who was he going to asked for help? What the hell do clowns _do_ anyways?! Zim turned back to the girl to see more snot nose kids crowding around.

"Hey freak! Where's our balloon animals!" An obnoxious looking kid shouted, the kids all 'yeah'-ed.

'Balloon animals'? Was that what these brats wanted? Zim silently pushed one of the lights on his pak; mechanical arms came out with a deflated balloon in its two fingered hands. Zim look around for an earth animal, he spotted a rock. A thin tube came out of his pak and attached itself to the balloon; once it was inflated, he handed it over to a little boy who looked down at it crestfallen.

"_Hey_ _aaa_ wait a minute! Dat's no balloon _animal_!" A kid in the crowd shouted. All the children nodded in agreement.

"Um… It's a… an…uh, Rock-!" The kids didn't look amused.

"R-rock-… A rock-bird!" Zim took the balloon and hit it forward, the balloon floated off.

The child giggled and ran off chasing it until it floated off into the sky; the little boy stopped, he long past forgotten Zim and skipped off some where. Zim smirked and began making many more 'rock-birds'; all the kids loved it. After the last rock-bird was made, he handed it over to the little black haired girl. The girl smile faltered as she looked down at it.

"I… Wanted… A… **_poodle_**!!" The girl screamed at Zim. She threw the balloon at him so hard that it popped on his forehead.

"_Eeee_ Naah! All. I wanted. Was. A **_poodle_**!! _Ah_ Uuugh!" She yelled, making screeching noises. The little girl screamed and ran around him, pulling her hair out and biting her dress.

Zim was frightened, this girl was crazy! She ran around screeching; she picked up rocks and crunched them into dust between her teeth, she banged her head on the trees that surrounded them, she even picked up birds and squirrels and bit them viciously. Zim cried out as she jumped on his head and began to bite at his clown wig.

"Ah! What are you doing?! Get off! Get off of Zim!!" Zim flailed around.

He rolled on the ground to get the little monster off his head. People stopped clapping and laughing at MiniMoose to look at Zim; they ran over and began to chatter about what was happening.

"Oh that poor little girl!"-"You monster!"-"She's just a child!" People muttered and shouted. MiniMoose floated over to see what was happening.

"Arg! M-MiniMoose! Hey watch it! Ouch! H-help your master! Help Zim!" Zim shouted, still wrestling with the girl.

"**I WANT MY _POODLE_**!!" The little girl shouted and poked Zim in the eye. Zim screamed and clutched onto his eye; it didn't help that he had that contact in.

MiniMoose picked up the 'rock-bird' and flew around it; the balloon squished and bends as the pressure of MiniMoose body ran against it. Everyone stopped to look at MiniMoose as he flew around the balloon. The little girl looked up from her vicious attack; she stopped bitting Zim's cheek and looked over to the show. Zim stopped squealing when he felt the pain leave his face. MiniMoose stopped looping and spinning to reveal a balloon in the shape of a poodle.

The girl squealed, now at her normal 'innocent' self; she left Zim to take her wretched poodle balloon. Zim stood and fixed his wig, not that it was going to look better straight; with the holes and matted parts on it. MiniMoose floated over to see if his master was alright, Zim coughed and sputtered as he mutters that he was fine. Shadows loomed over him and MiniMoose as he looked look up to see the crowed of angry people surrounding him.

"Hey! That's the same clown at the shopping mall a few months back!" A man shouted.

"And the guy that was at the super mall this morning" A random girl called out. 'Yeah' were heard from some people.

"Oh my god! You think he was trying to kidnap that little girl!" A random lady Zim remembers from the mall screeched out. People started to mutter; Zim got a little nervous once the human police stepped out of the crowd.

"Uh… That's all for are performance today!" Zim grabbed MiniMoose and tucked him under his arms.

Zim then dash out of the park as the police chases him, he duck and doge people as he ran through the city. Zim hoped he had enough monies to buy a potato; he didn't know how to count human monies, he was just going to do it until he was overflowing with human pay. Zim kept running until a dirty hand grabbed and pulled him into an ally. Zim turned to see the same scrawny hobo that had been watching him.

Zim was finally able to get a good look at him; he was very, _extremely_ malnourished and he had a small beard that had bits of food and other crap littering it, he had one eye that was bigger then the other. He wore old worn dirty clothes and a withered brown beanie that said 'I didn't steal this' his shirt said 'or this'. He must have been a hobo-- he stinks! Worse then the normal humans. Zim felt a little calmed by this; a hobo helped him out before, so this one earned a little of his respect, a little!

"_You_uuuhhh…Mmrr, nuuh urr… mmhmm…" The hobo mutter. Zim raised a supraorbital ridge; he then realized the bum still had a hold of his sleeve. Zim quickly slapped the hobo's hands away; stopping his grumbling in the process.

"Uh… Okay you filthy mud can, I guess I owe you some form of-""-**You**!! Yous'a stole my peoples!" The bum cut in, pointing a grimy finger at Zim.

"What are you talking about?" Zim asked, dodging the finger that was trying to touch his face.

"I s'a know it! Yous'a try'n ta take meh people uh'huh!" The bum shouted, showing his three rotten black teeth.

"What are you blabbering about you delusional earth filth!?" Zim tried to leave but the bum snatched MiniMoose from him.

"Hey! Give him back!" Zim shouted.

"Dis my mon'ney! I worked hard for dis mon'ney!" The bum said, dumping the pennies into his beanie.

"Hey! That's mine! Give those back to _Zim_!" Zim shouted, he would have lunged at the bum, but he feared his smell.

"No nuh'hu, dis is my mon'ney! I s'a even had ta dress up like a clown ta get it!" Zim stopped. He look down at his clothes; a clown suit, he then looked at the bum's; dirty hobo… This man was nuts.

"What?! No! _I_ dressed up like a clown! Me! Zim! _Me_!" Zim shouted.

"Nuh'uh no ways! I was the clown! I even had to make rock-birds!" Zim fumed, that's what _he_ had to do! That's why that bum was watching! He wasn't suspicious of Zim; he was just trying to take Zim's monies! Plus he was crazy.

"Nuh'uh! Zim made those rock balloons! Zim did!" Zim shouted back, which was countered with a 'no meh!' from the bum.

Zim and the bum went back and forth with 'meh'(s) and 'Zim'(s). MiniMoose manages to slip out of the bum's smelly arms and floated over to Zim and squeaked in his ear. Zim stopped and glanced to see MiniMoose had escaped; he smirked and ran out of the ally.

"Meh…! Meh…! Meh…! Meh…! Meh…! Hello?" The bum realized that Zim was no longer there.

A lady walked by and stopped to see the bum standing there holding his beanie. He gurgled and started to chant 'clown' while rolling on the floor; the lady screamed and ran.

"Finally MiniMoose! Did you see that hobo?! Trying to take My-me-_Zim_ hard earned monies!" Zim said, clarifying to no one of who's money it was. MiniMoose squeaked in agreement. Zim saw the potato man and ran up to him; MiniMoose squeaked and started to bobble around nervously.

"_One potato, potato herder_" Zim said snobbishly.

"_Five bucks, piggy bank_" The man retorted dully.

"MiniMoose! Give the potato hermit his monies!" Zim said, picking up a potato.

"Squeak…" MiniMoose had a sadden look on his face. The man snatched the potato before Zim could leave.

"What is this?! You dare to cheat Zim!" Zim shouted back.

"I says wha I says, and I says its five bucks" The man said gruffly.

"That had to be at least 'five bucks'!" Zim said shocked, how much was this 'five bucks'.

"What 'ad to be at least five bucks'? Ya did'n give me nee'thing" The man said, carelessly tossing the potato up and down.

"What?! MiniMoose gave you all I had!" Zim yelled.

"No, he did'n" The man said, not really paying attention.

"What? MiniMoose, does this filth pig lie?" Zim turned to MiniMoose who gave him a solemn squeak.

"_Sees_, now get 'otta 'ere kid" The man then slump back down in his lazy position.

Zim growled; that bum must have taken it! And Zim endured all that pain and suffering for nothing, he even called a human child 'cute'… He even _used_ the word cute! Zim growled, he was going to get a potato, he didn't know how, but he was. Zim looked back and forth, he then looked above him. MiniMoose squeaked in question; receiving a 'shush' from Zim. Zim waved his arms above his head, luckily the man at the stand could not see it; just what Zim wanted.

Zim lowered his flailing arms and grabbed the potato that was on the bottom of the pile, MiniMoose gave a quiet peep; Zim 'shushed' him again. Zim pulled back as the pile of potatoes began to tumble down, half rolling into the streets.

"Aw! Ma 'taters!" The man cried out. Now with the pile gone, he saw Zim standing there with a guilty look on his face; holding one of the guy's potatoes.

"Uh… Oh look! An, uh… A Magical potato knocking wind!" Zim pointed to a piece of garbage that floated in the breeze. The man stared at the debris that was carried by the wind; he looked back over to Zim, not amused.

"Uh… come on MiniMoose!" Zim sped off; potato in hand and MiniMoose in toe.

The man yelled after Zim but stopped to shout at a speeding car that ran over some of his potatoes. Zim ducked behind a skyscraper that was a few building down, once Zim saw that he wasn't being chased, he calmed down some. He and MiniMoose removed their clown get up and chucked them off to the side. Zim gave one more look around and cheered.

"Successes! Obtain the potato; COMPLETED!" Zim shouted and stuffed the potato down his pants. MiniMoose looked a little confused.

"So… Am I taller?" Zim asked, thrusting his pelvis out. MiniMoose gave a meek smile and peeped.

"What? I'm not?" Zim hopped up and down.

"Maybe I just have to wait a little longer" Zim suggested nervously, hopefully it would work better then the milk thing.

Oh how right was that sentence.

* * *

Now evening, Zim strutted around confidently, all the people he walked by would give a gasp and move out of the way-- oh the respect; the potato was working! _Yeah, it was working_. Oh how Zim waited for this day, if he didn't have a mission to complete, he would have returned to Irk to get measures and receive his rightful place as Tallest! Yeah, Zim liked the sound of that, maybe on his short wait to conquer this planet, he'd be even taller.

"Excuse me young man, do you have the time?" Some lady asked. Zim smirked; he'd show this filth who is superior. Zim turned around, making sure to jut out the potato more.

"Do you have the-Oh my god!" The lady screamed and ran off. Fear, ha! Oh Zim has waited for the day the humans realized that they were just insignificant beings, taking up space.

"Ha! You see that MiniMoose! How she screamed in horror at the mere sight of me. Fear Zim, fear Zim!" Zim began to cackle.

"Zi…m" Zim looked around. Someone was calling him.

"…im!" Zim lowered his arms and looked at his wrist. Skoodge fuzzy image emerged on his communicator.

"_Skoodge_?" Zim asked, tapping the communicator.

"Z…im! Can you hear me?!" Skoodge yelled, no more fuzz.

"Skoodge, you will address me as Tallest!" Zim said snobbishly.

"What? You actually grew _taller_ from that potato thing?" Skoodge asked amazed. Zim gave a smug smile.

"Yup…! Hey wait, what do you mean '_actually_'!" Zim shouted into his wrist.

"Oh, uh… I guess it only work for irkens… See ya Zim…! Um I mean 'Almighty Tallest Zim'" Skoodge said with a big smile; Zim would be a tallest, _Zim_. Skoodge was always rooting for him. Zim's smirk grew bigger, _Almighty Tallest Zim_; Zim could get used to that.

* * *

The computer tried to block Skoodge signal; he knew Zim was making a fool of himself, he just wished it wouldn't have to end. However it's fun was not ruined when Zim returned home in the middle of the night. Once he stepped out of the voot cruiser, the computers hopes were lifted. Skoodge rushed over to help his 'Tallest'.

"Um… Zim?" Skoodge slowed his pace when he saw him.

"No, no Skoodge, you don't have to be speechless, Zim is still the same Zim you've known; even though extreme power is coursing through my veins… bowing is fine…" Zim said, jutting out his pelvis.

… Skoodge pause, did Zim not see himself. MiniMoose floated out of the ship with a content smile. He floated over to Skoodge and squeaked. Skoodge was still staring at Zim shocked, when he heard MiniMoose squeak again, he snapped out of it.

"MiniMoose! Why didn't you tell Zim he looked like… _that_…?" Skoodge whispered to the little moose.

"Squeak" MiniMoose peeped.

"What do you mean you don't know what '_that_' is?!" Skoodge shouted, knocking Zim out of his fantasy world and summoning GIR.

"Mast'a gots a bulge in his pants! You taller!" GIR just assume that he must be taller if he matched that other guy.

"Silence GIR! Your breaking my concentration" Zim strutted over to the computer, who was trying to hold back ti's laughter.

"Um… Zim…" Skoodge stuttered, fiddling with his fingers.

"That's _Almighty Tallest_ Zim" Zim said, cutting Skoodge off.

"Uh… yeah, my 'Tallest'…" Skoodge corrected.

"Yes invader Skoodge?" Zim asked.

"Zim-""-_Tallest-"_"-_Tallest_… you're not, um, tall" Skoodge mumbled. Zim stared at Skoodge; he squirmed under Zim's glare.

"Computer! Bring Zim a _mirror_!" Zim yelled. The computer lowered a huge cubed mirror. Zim stared at himself for awhile, he saw the potato… but he didn't look taller. Zim scowled.

"What is this _for_ anyways?!" Zim shouted out in anger.

"Um…" Skoodge whispered why the potato was important. It took some time to process through Zim's mind, once it clicked, Zim shuddered and screeched in disgusted.

"Ugh!" Zim quickly took the potato out of his pants and chucked it into a wastebasket. For everyone's safety, the computer threw a lit match into the wastebasket and set flame to the whole can.

"What is wrong with these human?! Is that the only reason why they breed potatoes?!" Zim was sick just thinking of things they would be doing with a potato.

"Zim… Why don't you just give it some time…? I'm sure you'll grow taller someday" Skoodge encourage, patting his shoulder.

"Someday… _someday_…grr, **why not _now_**!" Zim shouted and slammed his head onto the keyboard.

"Computer, bring me the sphere…" Zim mumbled into the keys.

"W-what are you going to do Zim?" Skoodge question, his eyes following the sphere that the mechanical arm lowered.

"Zim will disgrace himself no longer!" Zim pointed in the air. Grabbing the sphere he then rolled it in his hands.

"Test one; Glors!" The last thing Zim saw was a squealing GIR ridding MiniMoose, and a worried Skoodge.

* * *

**Author:** Ah finished, I cogitate that I elongated (hehe, I ryhm) this chapter as far as I could (about 40 pages in Microsoft word--excluding this and the top note) if it seems short in here, then I'll make the next chapter longer. You see, I actually planed to put this out last year; maybe you remeber my "lost script" I had on another name, it was very ignominious to me (well, the chapters I didn't post online was) _this_ is that story, just introduced differently.

I switched the account because this will be the one I reserve for my stories and the other will be for the stories I read, the title just works better with my vision for this stories future (plus the "lost script" was just me being fainéant and just threw a name out there).

Anyways, if you made it this far without chiseling your eyes out and stapling them backwards on a wall to prevent glancing at the fic any longer; I commend you and your brave effort for getting thus far… will you survive, _chapter two_? Ha, of course you won't. You'd puke and then cry to your mommy about how the bad lady made your stomach hurt. But if you think you can endure chapter two, let me know in a _review_… Not that I care, just, heh, you know.

Oh and flames are accepted… no, scratch that, _harsh_ criticism are accepted. Some people think 'harsh criticism' _are_ flames, but in factuality, their not. You see flames are: _your work suck you whore_. Which isn't true, you don't know me and if you did, you'd know that I've tried and failed at being a whore and/or prostitute (it seems I'm not that pretty. plus peoples touch revolts me; _and we cant have that now can we _quoting the brothel owner.) so that review would mean nothing to me and wont improve my writing (meaning you will have to endure more of my 'sucky' work).

However, harsh criticism would be: _Your work was abhorrent and it makes me feel a little antipathetic towards you _because_… So why don't you spend one more year on it._ Which is fine, a bit exaggerated, but at least you explained your feelings; you see, people feel so much better when they sit down and have a nice, long, comforting talk. Okay, now my own words are beginning to make _me_ sick. _I care for you_ Jiffie.


	2. Guinea Pig Zim

**Hoshigaru**

**Author's note:** Okay, as you all know, or not because I didn't tell you; my computer has concocted the writer's virus. For those who don't know what that is—You probably do—it's when something horrible happens to a writer's computer so they can't update and prolong chapter release. I'm joking, but have you ever read a story, and then the next update it said something about their computer crashing, or loosing internet or whatever; well, I always thought "How in the world does all of these people's computer just 'crash'. You can't tell me ever good story I read, that every writer's computer is going to go down at some point." Yeah, well it just happened to me; I really did get a virus, and for some reason I can't access my back up files, so this chapter is completely rewritten and that makes me a little angry. IZ is my first fanfic I've written, so I kind of feel dedicated to finish it, even if it sucks really badly.

Okay, in story note: My IZ fanfic won't be some action packed, evil plot, Zim-learns-to-love-the-earth-and-try-to-save-it-from-being-conquered fic; maybe a little something in the sequel—did I tell you guys that this will have a sequel? Yeah, but I am just writing this as if it was a cartoon, just many little chapters of the shenanigans Zim and friends get into, oh, and gushy human romance feeling's—Though I could just be lying to you.

**Warning:** Um, hippies, robbery, animal cruelty, graffiti, OCs, and PETA—don't worry; many innocent animals were harmed in the making of this fic.

**Disclaimer:** I own invader Zim, but for some reason Jhonen and the police he brought to my house says I'm not allowed to say that… It's the man trying to bring me down… _man_!

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter two:** Guinea Pig Zim.

**Note:** Zim, Skoodge, and a new Oc heavy;_ not who you think_.

**Chapter two summary:** Zim have been busying himself to find a serum for his height, but each solution he find's is either unknown results or painful side effects. But when Zim turns on the TV one day, he discovers a whole new way to go about his testing; however, he's going to need a little help in carrying it out, who knew that his enemies would soon become his allies.

_Footsteps padded heavily on the ground, the night was dark and hid the six figures that dressed in black, each had their own yellow flash light as they breathe heavily from the run and crouched in an alleyway. The all looked up as a silhouette appeared in the end of the buildings, their attention was brought to the empty spray can that rattled in the character's hand._

"Gir!" Zim called from in his lab below.

Skoodge walked from the kitchen a few seconds later and sat on their large green couch. He looked to see Gir sitting on the floor, directly in front of the TV. Skoodge stretched to see, though he didn't need to, seeing as the TV was as big as the wall. Skoodge saw that a commercial was playing, when it was done, a show began to come on but Gir quickly turned from it.

"What'cha watching?" Skoodge asked, seeing as Gir turned from the show.

More commercials occupied that channel, Gir turned the channel again once the show was to come back on; Skoodge saw this happen a few more time before he got a little curious.

"Um, Gir, are you purposely watching the commercials?" Skoodge asked, but Gir still didn't answer.

"Gir!" Zim called. Skoodge looked to see Gir was still in his spot.

"Gir?!" Zim called, more confused this time.

"Gir…" Skoodge said, trying to get his attention.

"**Gir**!!" Zim shouted, sounding angrier.

"Gir, Zim's calling—" "_**Gir**_!" Zim shouted, stomping into the room.

The TV flashed as a blue screen with the white words Noos blinking. Gir pressed the remote to turn, but every channel had the same thing.

"Breaking News from channel 75 Noos." Gir awed and stood, walking over to Zim, Zim slapped him out of the way.

A man appeared on screen and had a bright smile, his hair neatly combed to the side. "Good morning, I'm Steve Colon on channel 75 Noos, there was a break in at mister Peat's Pet shop." A little box showed by the anchorman as the square held a little shop. "Let's go to Dianna Parks as she tells us exactly what has happen here. Dianna." The TV flicked to a woman with neat dirty blonde hair and a blue primped suit.

The woman held a microphone as she turned from the scene to look at the camera. "Thank you Steve. I am Dianna Parks, and this morning Peat's Pet shop has been vandalized, also, all of his animals have been freed—some might have even been stolen." Dianna says.

The camera screens past her to the building where the front window has a huge hole in it. Animals are stampeding out of the broken window as an old man, who was once sweeping the glass, held his broom up as he shouted at the animals.

"Poor Peat." The anchorwoman said as she laughed with her coworker.

The camera goes back to Dianna as a man is standing next to her. He have a glazed look in his eyes as they stare off into nothing, he looks high as his eyelids droop and his mouth is agape.

"We have a civilian that claims he witnessed the attack; sir, can you tell us what you saw?" Dianna asked, directing her mic to the man.

"You see, Die-ann, it wasn't an attack that occurred here, man, it was a liberation from evil, man; those poor animals were locked in cages, man, **cages**!" His eyes bucked.

Dianna brought the mic back to herself, "So, what you're saying his that these derelicts weren't trying to destroy privet property, but, in fact, save the animals." Dianna said, bringing the mic back to the man.

The man snatched the mic from Dianna who flinched back, "That's what I'm saying, man, these were angels, man, **angels**!!" His face grew closer to the camera as he grabbed the camera and shook it.

Zim turned the TV off as he stared on with a blank expression, Skoodge turned to stare at Zim as he wondered why he was so quiet. A devilish smirk then slithered onto Zim's face as he thought on his next plan.

"Can I go?" Skoodge said quickly, all to knowing of the look Zim had on his face.

Zim landed his ship on top of a small building once the voot reached the city. Zim hopped out, now in his disguise, and Skoodge joined him; Skoodge's disguise was much more advance than Zim's, Skoodge's eyes were a light green and his hair a fiery red, and he also had pale peach skin as freckles covered his face. Zim sneered up at Skoodge as he saw his disguise, it was even worse that the façade warp on and off by a push of a button. Zim choose to ignore his burning jealousy as he had more pressing matter to attend to; plus is disguise was a lot more gooder than Skoodge.

Zim's pak opened and his spider legs came out to burn an oversize hole into the roof, he jumped through and Skoodge timidly followed. Once below in the dark room, Zim began to roll around as he duck and dodged nothing. Skoodge just stood where he fell as he stared off in shock. Zim jumped up and slapped Skoodge to the ground as he flipped and rolled him behind a counter.

"You trying to get caught? Duck with Zim." Zim whisper viciously as he crawled off of Skoodge.

"Zim, look." Skoodge said pointing in the direction he was staring at earlier.

Zim peaked over the counter to see a bay window with a hole broken in it, "Yeah, so?" Zim said as Skoodge popped his head up.

"Zim, this is that Peat's guys place." Skoodge said, but Zim ignored him and rushed over to one of the many cages.

"What, what, what?! Where have they all gone?!" Zim shouted angrily pushing the cages over as their door swung open.

"Zim! Those gangs already pillaged through this place, didn't you remember seeing the animals rush out of the window—and why are we doing this in broad daylight!!" Skoodge emphases to the bright sun shining through the window.

Zim rubbed his chin in thought as he looked around, "Hm, seems the dirtlicks already got here." Zim said as he looked up to the wall, paint was dripping from it as it said 'Animals are born to be free!' and a frowny face dotting the exclamation mark.

Skoodge walked over to Zim to stare up at the sign, they both jumped when a door opened to show an old man coming out whistling as he held a cup of coffee. The man froze as he dropped his coffee.

"You again!" The man shouted and pulled out his broom, he then began to twirl it above his head, "I'd teach you kids to take my babies from me!"

Zim used his spider legs to jump back up out of the whole as Skoodge followed, the man chased to the spot as he swung the broom. Skoodge was nearly left as he jumped into the voot while the shield began to shut. High in the sky, Zim let the voot cruse as he thought of his next destination.

"Arg! All the animals in this whole city have been freed—now how am I supposed to get one." Zim pouted as he flopped back in his seat, crossing his arms and jutting his chin out in thought.

"There's gotta be more pet stores out there Zim." Skoodge said, already looking on his wrist watch for more places. Twenty yellow dots showed on his watch as he nudged Zim for his attention.

"Not all of these are pet shops, but they do have a mass amount of animals." Skoodge said referring to some of the zoos and other places.

"Hm, what's the closet's one?" Zim asked, interested.

"Well…" Skoodge typed some things into his arm.

"Tell Zim!" Zim shouted, tired of waiting as he took his ship off of auto.

"Just ten miles south from here." Skoodge answered quickly, the ship sharply turned, it didn't even disturb the passengers inside, and sped off in the direction.

Seconds they made it their and the voot lowered into an alleyway. Zim and Skoodge hopped out of the ship as the surveyed the building, it was plain and gray, but was fairly small, when they walked to the front they saw it slightly resembled Peat's shop, but it was fairly bigger and now said 'Pet Sharp'.

Zim and Skoodge rushed in and stopped as a few people turned to look at him. Zim looked up to see a bell, the cause of the alertness. Zim laughed nervously as he smiled whistled and walked further in the store, the people's gaze stopped and Zim sneered, he couldn't have all these people watching him.

"What now Zim, there's humans everywhere?" Skoodge whispered.

Zim didn't answer as they walked past the racks of pet items; Zim stopped as he saw the section were many of the animals were. He rushed over there and looked in the many cages to see hamsters, guinea pigs, snakes, turtles, dogs, cats, and many more. Zim turned from the turtles and bumped into someone, the person dropped a spiral notebook and a pencil.

"Watch where you're going, inferior female." Zim said, standing up to dust himself off.

The girl grabbed her things and looked up at him, she had long blond hair that reached her hips and was pin strait, her eyes where a dark brown and her skin was a past cream. She blinked up at Zim as she surveyed his skin tone, but then stood up—she was a five inches taller than Zim.

The girl didn't answer as she rushed off; Zim noted her tie-dye shirt and ripped blue jeans—he also stared at her odd different colored scrunchies that held her bangs. Zim shrugged it off as he walked over to see Skoodge looking into a cage. Zim looked to see puppies as they crawled over each other. Looking over to Skoodge, Zim then turned his attention back to the puppies and scooped one up.

"Ah, ah, ah—young man—don't touch those puppies." Zim looked up to see a heavy set woman in a red vest rush over to him and take the puppy from him; she was one of those al-dolts, so she towered him by a few feet.

Zim scowled up at the woman as he poked her hard in the thigh, "Listen her, jiggly woman; Zim's here for that doggie." Zim demanded, referring to the woman's weight.

"Oh, so you want to buy this dog?" The woman asked, ignoring the assault and his insult.

"We don't have any human monies Zim." Skoodge said.

"Well then." The woman said with her nose turned up, she then went to place the dog back in the cage, and made sure to lock the top.

"What are you, some dog master—slave owner of pups? Zim shouldn't need to buy animals! You didn't have to buy them to lock them in that cage did you—you just rolled down the street and snatched one up—If it weren't for filth like you; Zim would be able to find more animals out there!" Zim fumed, he was getting tired of having to pay for stuff. Skoodge began to drag Zim away as he notice he was attracting a crowed.

Skoodge stopped as they were now back outside, Zim fumed as he kicked the dirt on the concrete. Skoodge looked behind Zim, catching his attention, Zim turned to see the same girl he bumped into earlier.

"Wow, that was some righteous words you dished back there little green dude." The girls said, "So you notice the animal oppressors idiots call pet sellers. Hi, I'm Luna." The girl said as she put her hand out to shake his.

Zim cringed down at it, he saw the many bangles she wore on her wrist. Zim thought for a while and shook the hand, quickly taking it back after one shake—that was all she was getting.

"I heard what you said about there being more animals in the wild, you are so right—that's where they belong—but us humans just take them out of their home, lock them in a cage, and then sell them to people so they can just lock them in another cage. I'm so glad that other people out there understand…" the girl continued to rant as Zim stared at her oddly.

When he said that more animals should be out there, he only meant so he can take them himself, free of charge. Zim and Skoodge watched as the girl ranted about animal rights and what not.

"—There's even scientist out there, using these poor animals to create cures for all kinds of meaningless crap." Zim perked up.

"Cures?" Zim asked.

"Yeah, like to change the color of your hair, or so some people can give birth to twins, you know, unnatural stuff." The girl explained.

"Can they even create something to make people, like me, Zim… say… taller?" Zim asked. Skoodge caught on as he began to seem as interested as Zim.

"Yeah, they try everything on those poor animals—that's why we need to do something about it." The girl said with fire in her eyes.

Not if Zim could help it, "So~ _tell Zim_; what is this plan you have to… uh… stop this 'blasphemy' from continuing?" Zim asked, leaning in; the girl smiled devilishly.

"Man, I'm hungry—when's Luna coming back?" A boy with brown hair and blue eyes asked as he lounged on a blue sofa.

"Quit whining, dean, soon as she gets back, we can eat." A girl with green hair and amber eyes said heatedly as she leaned against the wall with her arms crossed.

"I didn't ask you, Terra." Dean said, lifting from his lazy position as he glared at her.

"But I answered, dick-wad." Terra said, lifting from her leaning position to stand in a threatening one.

"Would you two shut up; we can't even eat if Luna was to walk in right now, Rienie's bringing the food." Another boy with blue hair and purple eyes said.

Terra was about to retort when the door opened to show Luna walking in with Zim and Skoodge behind her. The group gathered to her as they stared at Zim and Skoodge strongly.

"Who are you?" Terra asked, she was about the same height as Luna, actually, all of them were—so Zim hated them all instantly.

"I am Zim." Zim said, glaring at her. They both held the glare for a second, until Terra broke it with a nod of her head.

"I like this kid." Terra said, going back to her wall.

"Well I don't, who is he supposed to be?" Dean asked, pouting at Zim.

"He's a new member; Zim want to help us save the animals, his friend, Skoodge, does too." Luna answered, introducing them.

"What's up with his skin?" A girl with pink hair and gray eyes asked, walking over to them.

"I eat a lot of vegetables; I've been on a no meat diet since I was a little placenta." Zim said proudly—he's done his research… sort of.

The group 'oh'ed as a new light for Zim shined in their eyes. "Hi guys I'm back!" The group turned to see a girl with wine colored hair and pink eyes come through the door with bags in her hands.

"Look at you little cuties; I've see you've made new friends." A woman said as she came in, she was holding some of the bags too, "Who would have known your little club would grow so big?" The woman laughed as she left the living room to go out back.

"Hey Rienie, did your mom get the tofu?" Dean asked, rifling through the bag.

"Sure did." Rienie said, taking out some packages.

"About this plan." Zim said, turning back to Luna as she too went for a packet of tofu.

"Oh yeah, tonight, we're going to break into that store we've just left from." Luna said, opening the square packages to show a white block. "Want some?" She asked, offering it to both.

Zim and Skoodge cringed, "Uh, Zim's already ate—we have a closet full of them—no need for more, don't want to take too much from… uh… the world when you see already people sucking the Earth dry." Zim lied, brushing it off.

After the group ate; they all geared up in their typical black suits, black jogging pants and a black sweater. They had a few more hours until sun down, so they used up that time for introductions and plan arranging. The blue hair boy name was Sean, the pink hair girl was Julie and it was another black hair green eyed boy name Tory.

Once night fell, the kids left the house and went back to the pet store. Zim and Skoodge followed Luna as she cut a hole in the glass door and unlocked it. Zim didn't know where the other kids went, but he allowed Luna to lead them inside. They rushed to the sections with the animals and Luna and Skoodge went to work opening the cages and setting the animals free. Zim didn't reach for the puppy he wanted an Skoodge questioned him.

"What's wrong Zim, I thought you wanted that one?" Skoodge whispered so Luna couldn't hear.

"Skoodge, Skoodge, Skoodge. Why start my own test when I can go to one of the human labs and see how far they gotten on their growth serum." Zim said, shaking his head at Skoodge lack of planning.

"Oh, then why are we helping these people?" Skoodge asked.

"Because, we need to gain their trust so we can use them to get the serum." Zim said, watching as Luna let out the last animal, which was a snake.

"So they're going to help us?" Skoodge asked.

"No! No irken is going to get help from some disgusting earth human; we're going to _use_ them." Zim corrected.

The two stopped talking as Luna came over with her small brown book bag; she handed Zim her yellow flash light and looked in her bag to pull out a spray can. Zim and Skoodge watched as she sprayed on one of the walls 'Animals should have you in a cage.' another frowny face to dot.

"Wanna try? I know you got some powerful words in ya Zim." Luna said, tossing him the spray can.

Zim took the can and walked over to another wall and wrote 'Stupid Jiggly woman, who's paying now.' Zim turned to Luna who nodded in approval.

"That's right Zim; after selling these animals like slaves, they'll now have to pay what they stole." Luna said, complementing him, Zim shrugged, not exactly what he meant, but sure.

Luna than began to tip over the racks as she completely started to destroy the building. The animal's was piled up at the door as only the birds were able to fit through the tiny hole she first made, some of them couldn't even fly down to find it. The alarm set off and Luna looked up.

"We're out of time; Sean can only keep the feds at bay for so long." She then grabbed Zim and Skoodge wrists as she rushed out the door, which was forced to stay open as the many animals ran passed it.

"Woo-hoo! That was great!" Luna cried as she turned in to an ally a few blocks away.

"This just in, the animal vigilantes are back and terrorizing the city pet shops." Dianna said as Gir turned on the TV. "We have one of the workers here who can tell us the extant of the destruction." Dianna then passed the mic to a heavy set woman in a red vest.

"I just don't have any clues on who could have done this, I mean, who would set all those poor little animals out there to defend for themselves in the cruel world." The woman softly cried as she stood next to the cages that were once occupied by animals.

"I just don't know, they say we should pay, but what do we have to pay for; saving the animals from a life on the streets, sending them to a family that will take care of them and feed them when their hungry; what are we paying I tell you!" The woman sobbed as she ran off.

The camera zoomed in on the words 'Stupid Jiggly woman, who's paying now?' They camera then quickly looked out the window as zoo animals came rampaging down the street. Gir stared blankly and turned, Tapetabbies came one; Gir began to smile and bounce as Minimoose squeaked

One week passed and Zim and Skoodge had help the group knock down ten pet shops. Zim was leaving his little messages as Luna cheered and became more inspired. Zim was highly proud of himself for gaining the groups trust so quickly, they were looking up to him like a god—he was even able to plan some of Luna's stick ups; who gladly allowed him to take over.

Even though Zim never once help freed the animal, the whole group cheered Zim when it was completed; the whole group was in another alley now as they high five each other for the job well done. "Good work back there Zim; with you, we can probably hit all of the stores before sun rise!" Dean cheered. This was the beginning of their second week.

"Hold up now team, with Zim, why don't we hit the big place." Luna said, her face was now serious.

"What's the big place?" Skoodge asked.

"Crocky Kook's animal testing."

Zim and Skoodge walked across the top of the building of the testing site. This was Zim's chance, the group planned to set the animals free as Zim and Skoodge went to go 'destroy' the serums and drugs they've made. Skoodge broke a sky window as they jumped through it, no one was in there as it was pitch black, slightly illuminated by the moon light.

Zim pulled out the yellow flash light and scan the room, he grinned as he saw the tables with liquid in Erlenmeyer and Florence flasks. Zim walked over to see them labeled; one said cure for Herpes, another said cure for cancer, another one was for AIDs and HIV, also one said gravy. Zim kept looking until he found one that had a creamy yellowish tint to it and said 'growth'. When Zim picked it up, the door burst opened to show Luna.

"Zim! We need to hurry, in thirty minutes, the employees are going to start coming back, and who knows if someone want to come early." Luna said as she pulled out her spray can.

"Here Zim, leave one of your motivations." Luna said and went to the table and began to break the bottles, she made sure to mix them and splash them over the place so they would be contaminated.

Zim walked over to the wall and wrote 'Idiot humans, next time keep your business out of other beings.' Zim turned back to Luna to hand her the can as she ripped up the papers that had the ingredients on them. Zim didn't mind though, his computer would be able to tell what it was made out of.

"Oh wow Zim; that is so true, we humans are always trying to stick are noses in other living creatures businesses, we have no right to think that we're more superior than any other living being." Luna gushed.

"That's right." Zim couldn't agree any harder—stupid inferior humans.

"Let's go." Luna said as they rushed out of the building.

"I'm so glad we could have you Zim, you too Skoodge." Luna said and the group agreed.

"Yes, yes, it was your pleaser." Zim said waving them off.

"We're really going to miss you, we hope you have fun on your save the orphaned kittens in Australia." Terra said sadly.

"Yeah, it sound so exciting, I wish I could go—but I'm sure it'll be great to have you there Zim." Luna said waving.

"Yes, the panda's will need me there—me and Skoodge." Zim said, backing out of the house and turning to walk down the street.

"Remember, you'll always be a part of our PETA group!" Luna called, Zim didn't turned but waved as him and Skoodge turned the corner.

"Ugh! Took them forever to let me leave, slobbering all over the floor." Zim shuddered as he remembered that Terra girl trying to hug him.

"Good riddance to that freak show, huh Zim?" Skoodge said, the voot was landing just around the corner and the two hopped in.

_**

* * *

**_

They flew home and landed in Zim's base as Skoodge followed him down to the lab.

"Computer! Bring down a sampler petri dish." Zim called and a tray raised from the ground next to him.

Zim placed a tiny drop on the dish as it closed and went back underground. Zim lifted the flask to his mouth and drank it, Skoodge went to stop him but Zim already chugged it down. Skoodge slapped his forehead as Zim chucked the glass behind him.

"Zim, you don't even know what's in that stuff—what if it's poisonous to us." Skoodge said as the computer began to calculate the ingredients.

"Re_lax_, human wouldn't try to poison themselves… maybe." Zim waited as the beeping over the computer filled the room.

Zim stretch and jumped up and down as he tried to get the effects to work, "Come on." Zim mumbled.

"Maybe it takes time Zim." Skoodge said—at least he wasn't dead yet.

"Complete." The computer said before Zim could smartly retort.

"Two percent water, twenty percent clay, thirty Soy nuts, and forty-eight percent cow milk." The computer said as it showed on his screen. "Mix them together and you have one big lie." The computer added smartly.

Zim growled and kicked the massive keyboard, only to writher in pain from the strong metal. Standing, Zim glared at the computer screen as he quickly searched is mind for another plan. That's it, no more lazy way, human's were horrible at coming up with curse for things—their people was still growing old—Zim would need to take this into his own hands.

Zim rushed off back to the voot and Skoodge went to follow, "No time—stay here." Zim said as he quickly closed the screen and lifted into the air, nearly clipping the roof as he zoomed out.

Zim Speed across the sky as he quickly typed on his wrist for the closest house with pets; landing on a house not so far, Zim hopped out and used his spider legs to climb down the roof and to the side windows. It was morning time, but the sun hasn't completely broke through yet, so the shadows was still able to conceal him.

Zim used his lazar to cut out a hole and climbed through, once in, he notice it was a little boys room with little base ball equipment and stuff—how disgusting. Zim walked over to a corner to see a mat sitting there, empty. He looked over to the small bed to see the cat he was looking for scrunched up on the boy's stomach. Zim quickly grabbed the cat and stuffed it in his pak. Rushing out the window, Zim climbed back in the voot and sped home.

In the lab, Skoodge watched as Zim took a scoffed, and quite traumatized, cat out of his pak. The cat was placed in a glass container as Zim pulled up his folder of experiments; these was what he worked on since the whole spear incident, but they were deadly, or unknown. Not all of them were finished, but some were and just needed testing.

Zim pressed a button and a gray block lifted from the ground, he made sure not to touch it as he had the computer—whose tools were always sterilized—lifted and put it in another compacted machine that completely crushed the block into a liquid, which was then supplied into a syringe. Zim took the needle and walked over to the cat.

The cat scrunched back as far as it could from Zim as its back squished into the glass behind it. Zim opened the glass and quickly grabbed the cat; the cat thrashed, scratch, and bit but the pain was nothing to Zim, if anything it was a strange thrill to see the creature fight so hard. Zim grinned as he plunged the needle into its back and it stopped its struggling.

Zim released the cat as it shook violently; the cat's body bubbled as it began to morph. Skoodge watched in awe to see the cat get bigger, he was ready to cheer, but was sadly mistaken as the cat only grew old, not really tall. Zim growled and snatched the elder cat off the table, he walked over to a small hole in the wall and threw the cat in, shutting the glass as he pressed the button to eject the cat out of the lab and out of the house where it flung into the sky.

"**Arg**!" Zim shout but calmed down, that was only one out of his many test; at least he was on the right path, the cat grew in age—and an irken didn't really get old—so maybe in a million years Zim's would be a little taller, but even to irken's, they needed to be young to be at their prime.

Zim set off to retrieve more animals; he went from stealing dogs out of their back yard to birds from their living room. Each one he brought home grew in some way or another, yet none grew in height. Zim tried serums from dust to tablets, even going as far as to plant a chip in their brain, but none gave satisfactory results.

It was five fifty; nearly ten minutes before the sun light the sky. Zim was pushing his voot curser to the max as he raced to collect animals; the last house, Zim was lucky enough to find a family with a dog, two cat, three bird, four fishes, and a rodent. It was beyond him why they had so many, he was getting sick of the few he would bring back to his lab.

Zim crept around the house as he stopped at the room that housed the animals; he was a little wary on how he was going to get all these animals back without waking the humans, or the animals. Some were to big just to grab and run, but he needed to her before the sunrise; though, he also didn't want eleven animals in his voot trying to scratch his eyes out.

"Doggie!" Gir shouted, hopping on Zim's head. Zim shouted and twisted to get Gir off, "Kitties! Birdies! Fishies! And a guinea pig." Gir called, hopping off to land on the dog.

The dog woke up and began to bark, waking the cats who began to whine and meow, frightening the birds who then began to squawk and rattle their cages, which scared the guinea pig who ran in circles and occasionally knocking into the bars, which soon tipped the fish tank next to it; causing a big splash and shatter.

The lights turned on and there was a tired, yet startled, husband, wife, and child; who gawked as Zim and Gir—both out of their disguise. The wife screamed and fainted as the husband quaked in his slippers and the child began to sob. Now there was barking, meowing, squawking, squeaking, shouting, and crying filling the room. Zim's head was ready to explode as they affected his sensitive hearing.

Zim reached for the closes thing and chucked it in his pak as he rushed and scooped up Gir and jumped out the window to have his spider legs come out and pull him on top of the roof where he hopped in the voot and sped home, making sure to go fast enough to were the morning joggers couldn't see.

Landing in the lab, Zim than chucked Gir out and climbed out himself. Skoodge turned to see and angry Zim as Gir slid across the polished floor. Zim growled and stomped over to Skoodge.

"What good are you, you were supposed to be watching Gir." Zim fumed.

"Uh… no I wasn't…" Skoodge said confused.

Zim stopped and looked round in thought; he then stomped over to Gir and looked down at him with his hands on his hip. Gir was laying upside down as he repositioned himself.

"Gir, look what you've done; you've could have ruin the mission! You did ruin the mission—just think of the possibilities if I took all of those animals." Zim scolded as Gir looked down sadly.

Gir had his hands behind his back as he looked up at Zim with sorrow filled eyes. Zim tried to look down at him angrily, but felt his eye twitch from the cuteness.

"That will not work with me; now go, leave Zim's sight this instant." Zim closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see his face. Dragging his hands on the ground, Gir was hunched over as he moped over to the elevator and went up.

"Did you get anything Zim?" Skoodge asked as he walked over to him.

Skoodge remembered the one animal he grabbed and reached in his pak; it was a little hard to find—it couldn't have been the dog; that thing was bigger than Zim… hey, it's says enough. Zim smiled as he grabbed the squirming animal and pulled it from his pak; both him and Skoodge gawked as they saw it was a plumped goldfish, the fish gasped for its last breath and died.

Zim growled angrily and threw the fish, slapping Skoodge in the face; he stomped over to the computer and slumped in one of his crescent moon chairs. He was so tired, this whole week was horrible. Skoodge walked over to Zim and looked down sadly.

"Get these animals are difficult; you can try again later." Skoodge tried to encourage. But Zim sullenly stared off as he ignored him

"You can play with piggy." Gir said.

"Gir, I told you to go away." Zim said boredly.

"Come on—he's cute." Gir insisted.

"No, Gir, for the last time; Zim does not wish to play with your filthy pink pig—even if it squeaks." Zim said, tired of him keep asking.

"It looks kind of brown to me." Gir said.

Zim opened his eyes and looked down to see Gir holding a squeaking guinea pig. Zim quickly sat up and snatched the animal—it had the same ginger brown color as the one in that family—Gir must of grabbed the thing before they left.

"Good job, Gir!" Zim cheered; he knew his robot was at the top of the line. The guinea pig was one of the known animals used for humans to test—or so Luna said—and not he had one.

Zim walked over to the testing container and place the guinea pig down. He then pulled out one of his experiments that was like a lotion; putting on extra gloves, Zim then squeezed the lotion out and rubbed it all around the guinea pig. The guinea pig tremor as Zim stood back and watched; the guinea pigs hair grew longer.

Zim didn't have time for a new animal and he had many more experiments, so he cut the things hair. He then got out a gun that shot a lazar at the guinea pig; it's head grew bigger.

"Welp… that's it." Zim said as he turned to leave.

"Zim, look." Skoodge said and Zim turned around.

The guinea pig's head began to shake and then it popped back to normal. Zim stared oddly as he looked the guinea pig over, "Computer! Is this experiment treatable?" Zim asked.

"No." It answered.

"Does it ware off?" Zim asked, a little uncertain this time.

The computer sighed, "_No_."

"That's it!" Zim said and rushed to pick the guinea pig up.

That's why the human's always preferred guinea pigs; because they have some strange immune to the experiments! Ha, the human's are so stupid to allow him to get his hands on one. Zim quickly began to make his other experiments; all failing, but that's okay, Zim can just try again, and again, and again.

So far, Zim was able to create a growth for nails, the tongue, the whiskers, and its organs, he also learned to make a very delicious cherry soda. Zim was getting a little tired and less enthusiastic; he had to be missing one thing that would make the guinea pig taller. Zim tried one last experiment; this was his last one, if this didn't work out, then it was back to the books.

The last one was a dust particles; it was supposed to be inhaled. Zim had a mask over his mouth as he kept the tightly sealed box far from his body; placing the container in the glass casing with the guinea pig, Zim stepped back as it closed. The box then broke open and purple glitter filled the container; Zim waited a few minutes for the guinea pig to inhale it all. The guinea pig began to shake and morph as it's body stretched and it became as big as a Doberman pinscher; Zim's mouth fell as he studied its size, its body was well proportion for something that big.

"Computer! Is this experiment treatable?" Zim started; he had to make sure of all the possibilities.

"No." It answered.

"Does it ware off?" Zim asked, a little uncertain this time.

"_No_, Zim." The computer was really getting sick of these obvious questions; well, all questions were obvious to him.

"Yes!" Zim cheered and watched as the guinea pig shrunk back into it's tiny size.

Zim rushed over to the computer and typed for it to make another copy of the last sample. Zim lifted it and ogled it in all its glory as he lowered the box to his face; Zim was about to open the case until Skoodge came and clamped his hands over the box so it would stay shut.

"Zim! You don't know what that's going to do to you." Skoodge said, looking concern.

"It'll make me taller; now move—none for you." Zim said, snatching the box from his grip, but he paused—he wasn't thinking rationally here—this was an Earth animal, even Irken animal would have different effects than an irken.

"Compute, take my sample DNA and mix it with the serum." Zim said, loosely holding the box.

The computer complied as it showed the analyzation on its screen. The result showed and a 3D video showed of the dust going into an irken's lungs, which then began to pump wildly like a heart and then shriveled. Zim and Skoodge's eyes widen as the saw the lungs squeeze, they jumped as the lungs expanded and exploded.

Zim's mouth was agape as they gawked at the screen. "I… _heh_… I guess now you only have to find a way to convert it to Irken DNA."

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**Author's note:** All done =D, I notice this one was a lot shorter than the first, but hey, I can't make them all ten billion pages long—plus the first chapter was like an introduction—it was supposed to be long. Any ways, how did you guys like my hippie/anti-hippie; did you like how I tried to say how bad having pets and animal testing was; then witched it around for having a cure to long life—ha, I mock the people who makes things like that a big deal. I'm actually kind of hippie-ish myself; I eat meat and I'm not with PETA, but I do find animal testing is wrong, but I do condone in having pets—I kind of made this chapter fifty/fifty, it was inspired by and created to support and mock my English teacher who is a huge PETA/vegetarian/animal lover. Do paint on fur coats =D!

The whole fic wasn't really supposed to be on the huge PETA group and things, it was actually supposed to be more on Zim resulting to animals for testing; I guess you can place your opinion on it—it's always nice to rant in a review—I don't mind if you're for or against, I won't judge; actually I'll love your opinion to show that you actually read and understood my chapter.

Off of that note, I might actually bring Dib and Gaz in the next one; I'm not sure—they'll be in the fic—I just don't know if it'll be in the next or later, also I don't know if you'll see the main oc yet or not either. The story is still branching out though; trust me, this testing phase is only the fetus of the actually story, it goes much deeper than that.


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